No. 5: If We’re Honest

This is the story of how I almost died: I lied to my parents. There are a few ultimate offenses with my parents, and after the event I’m about to tell you about, I figured out lying was one of them.

My parents set a rule a few years back that dating didn’t start until I was 16. It just seemed so far away though. I had taken interest in a couple guys before but it didn’t go anywhere (they probably didn’t even know). Sometime in the month of December, I took interest in a certain guy (who shall remain nameless) from my theater group. Around March or so he noticed and we started talking mid April.

A relationship grew into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. He was sweet, kind, funny, we had the same views on things. Nothing’s wrong with that…right? Right, except every part of our relationship was a secret. I was talking to a boy who was 2 years older than me over Snapchat…secretly.

From my last post, you can tell I’m very close to my mom. I didn’t tell her about any of it. Sure, she heard of some guy named ____ from theater that was my friend. He even came to an outing with my family before. He wasn’t bad.

As exciting as keeping a secret relationship up as well as I was able to, inside, I felt really bad. I was rebelling against the Good Girl everybody knew.

If one could describe me, some would say I’m caring or I’m good with kids, but you could sure cross honest off of the list. Some of my friends knew about the situation, a couple knew everything, but I was being two-faced. I was a leader. I led worship for my peers on Wednesday nights. I went to church, I smiled and put on the act like I was that good ol Christian girl everyone assumed I was.

Everything came to a screeching halt in the last week of May. My little bubble of a world that he and I were living in was popped. I was exposed to so many emotions during the whole experience. A year later, I rejoice in it all. I’m not the slightest bit bitter. I’ve gained insight on wisdom that I wish I would’ve been able to see this time last year. If anything, I’m grateful for ____ and his part in my story.
I named this post after a song that I heard a little before everything ended. It’s called If We’re Honest by Francesca Battistelli and these were the lyrics that convicted me:

Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not. Living life afraid of getting caught. There is freedom found when we lay out secrets down at the cross.

Lying gets you nowhere. Except for in trouble. Guilt builds up, people start getting suspicious, and eventually things blow up and you’re exposed. It’s better to be exposed and honest to begin with, so there’s nothing to be hidden. Keep your distance with some people, don’t tell everybody everything, but be truthful.

So there’s my story. Open and out there for you to take something from. It’s taken a year to process and overcome and now I’m telling you the truth about my lies. Ironic, isn’t it?
Verse: “The Lord detests lying lips but delights in those who are trustworthy.” Proverbs 12:22

Song: “If We’re Honest” by Francesca Battistelli from the album If We’re Honest (2014)

2 Replies to “No. 5: If We’re Honest”

  1. Numbers 32:23 last half … be sure your sin will find you out. You’ve learned several life lessons. It’s cool that God has blessed you richly with wisdom, discernment and leadership skills. Enjoy the ride, God has big plans for you.
    See you in 188 hours give or take!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve inspired me so much!!! You probably know me (Sarahs best friend) I love your blog I was looking on Instagram and you said new blog posted up I have been reading it for a while and you’ve made my day!!! I love your blog so much you are an amazing Christian I can’t wait to meet you!!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s