I Doubt It

Ok, so here’s a confession: I doubt why I’m a Christian sometimes.

I know. Whoa. But, let me tell you why:

I, as a follower of Christ, believe in a God that created the entire universe and the patterns of my heartbeat. Every intricate detail on this Earth was totally up to my God and I believe every ounce of it. And sometimes I don’t know why.

A couple weeks ago, I got back from camp in Glorieta, New Mexico. I sat, one night, under the cold miracle sky with thousands of stars staring me in the face and still I was in unbelief. The God that created and named those stars created and named me. And He loves me. But I didn’t want to believe it. 

To be quite frank, I felt like a terrible person. How could I doubt the God that had provided so thoroughly? I felt like I was betraying my best friend. It’s like my Believe cup was filled to capacity and even a single drop would make it overflow. 

In James 1:6 it says “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”

It’s ok to stop and think about it sometimes. If you never question your faith, then how deep is your faith, really? If you jump out of a plane, wouldn’t you doubt your decisions at least for a second? When you live the life of a disciple, your life turns into a circus. You’re constantly on balancing on the beam of belief. Sometimes you fall, but when you get back in the swing of things, and you stick a landing in the safety of Jesus, you know it was worth it. 

In the end, every aspect of our God, so big and mighty, coming through and making things right makes every ounce of worry worth it. 

I’m the beginning of the world, as we’re told, God created every living thing, beautiful and pure. He saw that it was good. He created humans & He couldn’t think of one thing that He loved more. He saw that we were good. He still sees that we are good. We mess up and fail constantly, over and over and over, and He still comes back to wash us white as snow.
“Do you now believe?” (John 16:31)

Verse: “For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.”

‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭4:14‬ 

Also: John 14:11

Song: “Come Alive (Dry Bones)” by Lauren Daigle from How Can It Be – EP (2014)

2 Replies to “I Doubt It”

  1. Hi Chayli! Travis’ mom-in-law and Lindi’s mom here! OMG girl! I LOVE reading your blog entries! You express things so beautifully! Keep at it! Keep lovin’ Jesus, your family, your life! Keep facing the doubts… God is big and He can handle it! Thank you for the exquisite, short, sweet peek into your life! 😍

    Liked by 1 person

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