I can describe what it feels like to drown without actually ever having drowned. I know because I know what it’s like to drown emotionally. Tears have made the ocean I’m swimming in and now my boat has a hole and I’m sinking. Drowning is the most overwhelming feeling. I’m choking on stress and fear. Now I’m just looking around and waiting for a lifesaver.
I’m speaking in a state of personal understanding because I’m currently looking for my lifesaver that is constructed of a mixture of peace and grace.
The stress is becoming of me and I’m in need of a Savior. It’s a saddening, yet incredible thing to realize you’re broken and you need fixed. You just need someone to patch up that hole in your boat.
In Psalm 69:1-3 it says: “Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for my God.”
But our God, our Abba, our Lifesaver, hears every SOS we send out in our moment of need. He doesn’t just mend the hole in your boat…He climbs out and walks on the water to come lift you up out of the engulfing floods and miry depths.
It is a prayer in desperation and need:
“Rescue me from the mire, do not let me sink; deliver me from those who hate me, from the deep waters. Do not let the floodwaters engulf me or the depths swallow me up or the pit close its mouth over me. Answer me, Lord, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me. Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in trouble. Come near and rescue me; deliver me because of my foes.”
Stress will not become of me. It will not become the word that is used to describe me. My life doesn’t stop because I’m overwhelmed. I cling onto the little strand of faith that I still have and He has said that is has saved me. That’s my Lifesaver.
Lord, save me. Don’t let me sink. Peace be still.
Also: Psalm 69:1-3, 14-18
Song(s): “I Can Feel You” by Bethel Music from the album Tides Live (2014)
“I Can’t Save Myself” by Morgan Harper Nichols on self titled album (2015)