Insecurity Blanket

It’s all fine and dandy when you’re full of joy but it’s a lot like Mondays and geometry when you’re not. I wish I could tell you that I’m joyful 100% or even 50% of the time, but that just wouldn’t be the truth. Sometimes I have a bad attitude, sometimes I’m irritable, sometimes I’m sad and I don’t know why. Sometimes it’s all of those at the same time. I’m not joyful for a lot of reasons sometimes and to be honest, sometimes it’s because of myself.

A lot of my insecurities stem from comparing myself to other people (that’ll do it, right?) It’s hard not to compare myself in relationships and friendships. Jealousy, envy, bitterness, on and on, like unwelcome house guests, I can’t get rid of them. I want approval, I want to feel good enough. I’m concerned about what people think, because I’m not like everyone else. I don’t listen to their music, I don’t watch their shows, I don’t go to their schools, I don’t wear what they wear. I’m a professional comparer (just gonna act like that’s a real word). But I’m gonna go ahead and give you a spoiler alert, it leaves you feeling like bleh ☹️👎🏽when you should feel like OH YEAH 😄🤘🏽.

Comparison really takes away your joy. My joy is a treasure chest of jewels and toxic people and toxic thoughts are the jewel thieves. My jewels are a personal gift from the King. Something happens and the thieves try to steal my jewels and it almost swipes me off of my feet. I’m tired of almost getting robbed of my jewels.

In John 10:10, it says:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

The thief comes only to steal your joy, kill your self-image and destroy your self-worth.

When I’m feeling down, when I’m feeling like I’m not good enough, not pretty enough, “my hair doesn’t look like hers”, “he loved her first”, “I wish, I wish, I wish”, my God never changes and never wavers on His Word. He says I am good enough because in Him, I live. I am more than good enough. He is in me, God of all Creation. And if He can look at the universe, the heavens, the intricate details of the tiniest leaves on the tiniest plants and still look at me and say “I love you more” then it’s good enough for me.

My worth doesn’t depend on a boyfriend, an image of what I should look like, comparing myself to another girl, my grades, or where I live. From the inside out, God determined that I am worth far more than rubies.

So…who or what is your jewel thief?

Verses:

“She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”

Proverbs 3:15

“He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.”

Job 8:21

“You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing Your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise You forever.”

Psalm 30:11-12

Songs: “Through Your Eyes” by Britt Nicole from the album Britt Nicole (2016)

“Work of Art” by Britt Nicole from the album Britt Nicole (2016)

6 Replies to “Insecurity Blanket”

  1. I just want to cry at the beauty that is you sweet Chayli! Thank you for being so vulnerable. That takes guts! All of my friends need this message. For crying out loud, EVERY PERSON needs this message! ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow. I admire your insight about the pain caused from comparing. You are an intuitive ahead of your time. Since God makes each of His kids exactly as it pleases Him, and He doesn’t make mistakes, then there’s only value in appreciation of God’s handiwork. Comparing is just a waste of energy and one of the most used temptations of the evil one. I do hope you keep on writing!!

    Liked by 1 person

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