No. 36: Bent but Not Broken: How Worship Saved My Life

In a storm of a life, to me, worship, is a shelter. Sometimes I don’t have the energy or I don’t like the songs I’m singing. I’m terrible at hiding my emotions and I’m REALLY terrible at lying. But at the end of the day, the worship isn’t for me. And I end up getting more out of it than I originally planned.
I’ve been leading worship for 4 years now at my church. I used to be concerned about how I sounded or being too loud or not “good enough”. I didn’t want to be in the spotlight but I liked to sing. Leading worship has changed and saved my life. Think about it: leading other believers in praise to our Jesus and help make disciples. The King of the Heavenly Throne, Yahweh. I am nothing and He is everything yet I get to kiss His feet. God doesn’t care about voice cracks or if I make Oceans into spoken word. He cares about the heart and He LOVES it.

Worship music does not have to be slow and sleepy. If I’m in the need for just a slow, smooth song to take me into worship, that’s where the Spirit will lead me. But sometimes I just want to dance like a ridiculous person. Or I want to jump and let my hair down and yell. In 2017, there are so many Christian artists that cater to different kinds of people. I love a variety of different music (except country. I can’t do country 😂). I love Lecrae and the 116 Crew. I love Tobymac and Hollyn. I also love Skillet and Hillsong Young & Free and Lauren Daigle. These people talk about real things and deep topics but they also worship God through different types of music. Every moment in their lives have been woven together for this purpose and their music moves people and becomes apart of their lives too.
That’s what I want to do. I knew singing was my purpose when I couldn’t wait to get back to it. I knew it was my passion when the last song ended and I couldn’t wait for the next one to start. And when I’m not leading worship, I want to get back to it. All the crappy things in my life add up and I get myself into a place of shaking sadness and depression but the moment I start singing, my heart doesn’t feel heavy anymore. I can sing to my problems, not forget about them. It fills me up, it lets me change my suffixes when I’m talking about hope. I walked in hopeless and I walked out hopeful.

Worship can look like a lot of different things. Worship isn’t always a song, even though it definitely can be. Worshipping is doing things for the Lord. You can worship and play basketball or write a blog (😉) or play an instrument. You can paint or recite spoken word or garden for all I know. God knows your heart and knows if that’s where you are ❤️ When I write for this blog, I know a lot of what it is is for me too. I don’t have anything together, so I definitely am not deserving of being able to be a channel for other people.

Believe me, in the the middle of a funk, anything that requires any amount of energy doesn’t sound worth while. But in the middle of my storm, my heart praises when I don’t have energy to even speak. You’re bent, but He promised you won’t break.

Verses: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:2-3‬

“I spread out my hands to You;

I thirst for You like a parched land.” Psalm 143:6
“For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things.

To him be the glory forever! Amen.”

Romans 11:36

“Even When It Hurts (Praise Song) [In The Cold Night Of A Not Too Distant War]” by Hillsong United from the album Of Dirt and Grace (2016)

“Only Wanna Sing” by Hillsong Young & Free from the album Youth Revival Acoustic (2017)

“I’ll Find You” by Lecrae (feat. Tori Kelly) from the album All Things Work Together (2017)

“Awake and Alive” by Skillet from the album Awake (2009)

“Feel It” by Tobymac (feat. Mr. Talkbox) from the album This is Not a Test (2015)

“How Can It Be” by Lauren Daigle from the album How Can It Be (2015)

“Can’t Live Without” by Hollyn from the album One-Way Conversations (2017)

“How He Loves” by David Crowder Band from the album Church Music (2009)

7 Replies to “No. 36: Bent but Not Broken: How Worship Saved My Life”

  1. You’re such a delightful young lady. Jesus is madly in love with His relationship with you. Keep the reality going and worship in as many ways as you can imagine!

    Liked by 2 people

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